a found post secret!

As i have already expressed before i am a huge fan

of the post secret books.

and as usually i went to borders to read them for the 100th

time with my friend Jessa.

when we were going through them i kept finding little pieces of paper

where people had written their secrets and placed them in the books.

which was exciting.

i read most of them, but someone had placed one in the was written in

(what i thought was Spanish, thanks Clayton!) but was french.

i decided to take it home with me and figure out what it said.

so i have had it in my room for over a month and had forgotten to "google translate" it.

and so today i did.

this is the "post secret"

"i cry because i hate ugly. i want to be beautiful"

Anonymous

i don't know who you are, or where you are, and well you will probably never read this. but you should know that you are Beautiful. and so brave, for even having the courage to write this and place it in a book. and I'm sure you are loved by so many.

“The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched, they must be felt with the heart” Helen Keller.

i think i want to do a post secret. =) thank you, whoever you are.

Me & Things.

I have decided to write some things about myself that only really i
know about myself and the close friends and family know.
bad or good, i will tell.

1. i paint my finger nails way to much.
2. i think reading is an escape from relality, maybe that's why i love it so much.
3. my sniffer (nose) is amazing, even after having a baby.
4. i check my facebook to much.
5. i love anthropolgy.
6. i tend to give better then i recieve.
7. i hate telling people no.
8. im very easily entertained.
9.i laugh at just about everything.
10.but my laugh is loud and hideous.
11. i spell like a 6 year old, im horrible.
12. also driving isnt my best asset.
13. zupas, crosses my mind at like 3 times a day.
14. i wear fake eye lashes a couple times a week (its almost like an addiction once you wear them its hard to not want to all the time)
15. i watch to much tv, but their is just so many good shows.
16. i would rather go see a movie then do something crazy.
17. im a home body.
18. i struggle with major anxeity. but i've learned to manage it.
19. i have a phobia of vomit!! and if you know me, you know what i mean by phobia.
20. my favorite color is red.
21. high heels make me feel beautiful.
22. i absouletly hate confrontation. i get that from my dad.
23. my dad is one of the funniest people i know. and i dont know where i would be without him.
24. my mom well lets just say she is a pretty amazing person. she knows me best.
25. i have a son named Graydee.
26. Who i also placed for adoption.
27. he is on my mind about 22/7 haha not 24/7 but 22/7 ha.
28. i miss him most of the time.
29. heather is who i want to be like someday. you know who you are.
30. my cheeks are huge! and thats and understatement.
31. i would rather listen to a piano playing then listen to rap or screamo or anything.
32. i sometimes miss high school (never thought i would say that)
33. i LOVE my job. most of the time. who would complain about free tanning.
34. i dont like ice cream
35. but i love CHOCOLATE!
36. i leave my tv on till i fall asleep.
37. because of the movie paranormal activity im scared of the dark.
38. i hate being touched to much by random people in a big crowd, it makes me anxious.
39. i use hand sanatizer to much.
40. i hate math.
41. im the first in my immidate family to go to college!
42. ive never been able to do a cart-wheel.
43. i love to just talk.
44. i love meeting new people.
45. i get snappy sometimes. im not proud of that.
46. and i can be really sensitive.
47. i think my sister basia is one of the prettiest people i know.
48. i think tattoo's are appealing. if i could pull it off i would be covered.
49. i am mormon, and my biggest goal is to be married in the temple.
50. but i do have a mouth sometimes. =(
51. im terrible at dancing but i love to dance.
52. and singing lets not get started. i suck.
53. i cry at just about everything ha. thanks mom.
54. i care to much about other people then myself. its easier that way.
55. i dont have very many talents.
56. but thats okay with me. =)
57. i get embaressed really easy.
58. giving birth was the most amazing thing ive ever been through. sure you wanted to hear that.
59. i go from blonde hair to brown hair at least twice a year.
60. im in a bunco group.
61. id rather be goofy then serious, no one wants to be around a bore!
62. i want to travel the world for a living, but i just dont know how to get a career in that.
63. im easily confused.
64. i have strech marks from pregnancy.
65. i hate them about 95% of the time.
66. but i wouldnt take them away, they remind me each day of my son. and as crazy as it seems they make it easier to bare him being somewhere else.
67. i dont bit my nails.
68. i tend to get really close to boyfriends family's..ha its weird.
69. i love being single its made me figure out who i am, and not who i am with someone.
70. i love the snow from inside, looking outside a window.
71. lake powell could be my second home.
72. i would rather live in a small town then a busy town.
73. i love to drive on the freeway, its relaxing to me.
74. im trying to lose weight, but i love food and hate exercising so its kind of a challenge.
75. but i love my body for what its worth.
76. i miss being pregnant.
77. i think ill be a good mom one day.
78. i take to much on at once, and then get overwhelmed really easy.
79. im a procrastinator though.
80. i think religion is so intresting.
81. i want to save 3 peoples life somehow before i die.
82. im to open. about everything. but i rather that way.
83. i hate secrets. they ruin everything.
84. i gossip sometimes, but usually feel guilty after.
85. i make the ugliest noises everytime someone scares me or i hurt myself.
86. id really like to learn how to drive stick.
87.i could easily forget your name after we meet.
88. i care more about my family then anyone else.
89. i dont trust most people, but im learning to be better.
90. my best friend is my cousin chandice.
91. i love who i have become, even if sometimes i make mistakes!

i am the best i have ever been. =))

some news.

It has been sometime sense i have blogged.

it has been a crazy couple months.

their are some really important things i would like to inform you all in on.

first one of them being, I'm officially a college student.

first one of the family, I'm very proud of myself.

i know some may think that is ignorant.

but after the last years events i never thought i would make it this far.

I'm loving every second of it, its hard work .

some days i dont think i can do it. but i always remember why?

Graydee, he is the reason why I'm sitting in that classroom.

which brings me to my next topic.

the adoption was finalized.

as i read this on facebook, through his mom's profile, i thought i would be sad.

no not one once of my being was sad, i was...

relieved.

happy.

satisfied.

he is safe, not that anything would have changed that if it wasn't finalized.

but the feeling of knowing its Sucre and he has a family who is in love with him.

makes me, okay, it makes me feel okay, for once in a really long time.

i feel okay. =)

sorry heather i stole the picture. =)

next news i would like everyone to be informed on.Graydee's blessing.was probably well one of the best days of my life.not exactly the best, as that was his birth.anyway.it was amazing, to hear his dad give that blessing to him was truly amazing.when Shane bore his testimony. it was tear after tear. as he told the congregation how the adoption was possible how i decided to choose their family. i don't think their was a dry eye anywhere.

this is his blessing outfit, i think he is the most handsome little boy ever.literally you cant not just want to squeeze him. so for all you information, graydee is doing good. he is so big and so happy and that makes me happy. i don't know what i would do without Shane and heather as second parents to me.

Twilight.

For those of you who dont know what Twilight is

well let me inform you,

its epic.

ha..something im pretty sure every woman

and little girl is obsessed with.

and to be honesty i am also one of those

obsessed women.

i dont care how much people say its stupid.

and these are the reasons why,

yes the movies may be a bit cheesy lets face it.

but what girl doesnt want two very fine men fighting over them.

come on now.

and every girl would die to be treated that way.

so men take a lesson from these movies ha.

not so much the cheese ball parts but everything else.

now i am team EDWARD ha i mean look at him!!

(sarah this photo is for you ha)

and for me its not the whole edward cullen thing

it the Robert Pattinson thing.

he has some other really amazing films

like" remember me"

AMAZING

and he is so mysiterious and scruffy and manly ha.

when jacob yes is also, whats the word that most people

would you use.

sexy. ha.

but kinda little boy.

at least for me anyway.maybe not so much when he takes his shirt off ha.so what im trying to say is GO TEAM EDWARD...and well ive joined the rest of the world in falling in love with these stupid books and movies. and i cant wait for breaking dawn. a year and half people. urg.

well.

tonight,

well tonight,

i miss you.

an empty feeling.

but their never goodbye's just see you later's bug.

the Brittany moments didnt work in my last post so here are her best moments!! ha sorry everyone!

Glee Glee and more GLEE

ive found my new obsession GLEE.

i catch myself watching the 6 episodes i have saved on my DVR.

over and over again.

(i know im pathetic)

and not like everyone i dont love finn

im a little bit in love with Noah or Mark salling
aka the bad boy of glee.

i mean seriously the prettiest boy ive ever seen ha.

now, ive asked for my birthday for all the soundtracks so i dont have to keep watching the tv and fastforwarding to the songs ha

and for my favorite girl of the whole show , well Quinn of course i think its cause i can kinda relate to her(besides the being able to sing and dance)im sure you all understand ha.

the last eposide of this season where she has her baby even with the weird back ground music, ha made me cry.but i guess any stuff about babies makes me cry.but that she placed her in rachel's moms care (sorry i dont believe in the word give up) but i cant wait to see what happens in the up coming season with that. =))

but also i have to say i really love Brittany (the dumb blonde cheerleader)her comments always give me a good laugh.like "did you know dolphins are just gay sharks" here are some of the best of her quotes!

so pretty much what im trying to say ive become a GLEE fan just like everyone else =)